There was a series of rock-bottom where I thought things couldn’t get any worse, but they did.
The last 6 years have been one bad year after another – a never ending cycle.
I didn’t blame the drugs, I blamed my life situations, blamed the police and blamed society. I used to say that “if you had a past like mine you would use to”.
I was in denial and continued to lie to myself. I thought maybe if I just avoid it, it will just fix itself. The people I was hanging around and the situations I put myself in left me broken and alone.
At the time, I thought there were three options, to be locked up, be admitted to a psych ward or possibly death.
I thought I was a good person and allowed a couple of homeless people to stay on my floor. I‘d been homeless before and was empathetic to their situation, until they took over my home. I was the youngest player among my associates who continued to stand over me. This left me with no choice but to return to the streets. After spending another on night on the street freezing, I was left with no option but to walk through the door of a Drug and Alcohol service. My arm was broken, my spirit was broken. This is where my recovery journey began. I had just had enough. I was ready and willing to see my life for what it was and surrendered myself.
You may find the Recovery Program helpful.